cut the foreplay

how many babies do you want from me anyways?

two...? four...? six...? eight...?

golden oldies

download:

Milano (Acoustic).mp3

Mango Company/Basically Chocolate Bread (Acoustic).mp3

fuck you

"this used to be my trademark back in the day."

but times have changed and now youtube videos do the thinking for me.

sucubus

i don't care if you're a ten, you can't make me put my tongue there.

the zafiro danté

i drove three hours in a stolen mini van to show this to you.
chased by an angry korean dad out of the costco parking lot.
passionately, sped through red lights in a snow squall,
just to do this with you.
our favourite dance.
you remember, the one that starts off slow and wistful like the rumba,
but leads to dangerous contorting sexual intercourse on the dance floor?
that's the one.

but why the fuck is it snowing in april?

7D

pre-mid-life crisis

"man i feel drained, musically. i need to get away from everything. i should have a picnic."

"a picnic?"

"that would make me inspired, to take my girlfriend on a nice sunny day and go out for a picnic on the country side, and get drunk. that would be so gangsta."

"how could a picnic with your girlfriend be gangsta?"

"i make anything sound gangsta, o.g. picnic. i'm gonna go eat some poppycock."

casting call

i'm currently holding open auditions for the new pantene commercial,
being shot in a large bubble bath.
anyone interested must be comfortable bearing skin.
wardrobe consists of bubbles and foam.
inquire within.